


i'm not scared of love

by bisexualjily (divineauthor)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Jealousy, Marauders' Era, Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, No Angst, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oneshot, POC James Potter, POV Lily Evans Potter, Past Relationship(s), Public Display of Affection, i gotta have some hurt before i smother u in fluff, its james & an oc for like 2 seconds, so many tropes so little time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-10-14 22:30:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17517032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/divineauthor/pseuds/bisexualjily
Summary: Lily wanted to say that James ruined everything for her, but that would be a complete lie in all honesty. She didn’t know what happened. For the first few years at Hogwarts, he had always been such an arrogant prick, flaunting his blatant disregard for rules and tousling that insufferable hair of his, knowing full well that people sighed happily when he did. But he grew on her, slowly, until James had wormed his way into her heart and her life.—•—James stops asking Lily out. Lily, much to her dismay, misses it, so she decides to ask him out herself.





	i'm not scared of love

**Author's Note:**

> i posted this on ao3 years ago but it was quite shit so i deleted it and basically rewrote it hjsdgfsdkhjgf here's some fluffy jily to soothe all ur worries !!! i might've changed some dates of some events?? im doing this off the top of my head and i havent read a canon marauder's fic in so long please ignore if i make a mistake sdhjgf. anyways, any other mistake is mine :D enjoy !!!
> 
> title from: one direction's “strong”

Lily wanted to say that James ruined everything for her, but that would be a complete lie in all honesty. She didn’t know what happened. For the first few years at Hogwarts, he had always been such an arrogant prick, flaunting his blatant disregard for rules and tousling that insufferable hair of his, knowing full well that people sighed happily when he did. But he grew on her, slowly, until James had wormed his way into her heart and her life.

He and his other band of marauders were more or less the same annoyance to her schooling during those first few years. Remus, after becoming a prefect with her, wasn’t as bad as she originally thought and Peter was always rather quiet if a bit sly. Sirius on the other hand was as frustrating (maybe more) than James, but after the incident between him and the others that they never spoke of, he had been quite lonely during their sixth year, so she plopped down next to him and buttered up a toast and shoved it in his face. After he spluttered and floundered for a moment, but he grudgingly took it and accepted her form of friendship.

Okay, they weren’t that bad. She could admit it now and, looking back at some of the pranks they’ve done, she could feel the ingenious creativity of their plans. Granted, they did bully some of the Slytherins, Sev— Snape in particular. Lily still felt that Snape didn’t deserve the strength of their attacks, but after he called her  _mudblood_ her levels of sympathy had lowered down considerably. And James had the audacity to ask her out after that entire debacle. She had stewed in her anger for months until the first week of their sixth year when James came up to her and apologised. He had toned down quite a bit over the summer and had stopped asking her out everyday. To her surprise, Lily began to enjoy his company.

It wasn’t hard to like him either, which was the kicker. Lily had always known he was attractive, but the way many people were, gorgeous even though their personalities had soured every aspect of their beauty. But he was so sweet underneath all that bravado, never failing to make her laugh until she couldn’t breathe, or to make her heart skip a beat when he gave her the biggest, dorkiest grin. He was so unbearably loyal and kind, and he was a good leader and just a good man.

She could lie and say that it was a the biggest shift in James’ character, but she knew deep down that he was always a good person. No one truly horrid would offer his house to a friend indefinitely when he ran away from home, or visit his friend after every full moon at the crack of dawn with tired eyes and a sympathetic smile. It was only after the event near the end of their fifth year that had always broken up the inseparable band of brothers that James had really grown up. It was quite awkward being in touch with all of them, but none of them actually speaking to one another. When Remus, after _months_ of ignoring Sirius, had hugged him, Lily almost cried with relief. She had grown fond of all of them and seeing them struggle to function was hard to see. Their sixth year was so different, but it was a nice change.

Privately, in her the comfort of her own dormitories, she wished for James to ask out her again. She wished and wished and wished, but they were friends now. Just friends. She waited weeks for any sign of a him gearing up to ask her out on a date to Hogsmeade. There was a pang of disappointment when he always went with Remus and Peter.

But then there had been whispers of James angling to ask someone out to Hogsmeade and a tiny flame of hope was lit. She was jittery that day, legs bouncing up and down and she was too excited to even eat but she forced herself to grab something and shove pieces of it in her mouth. She had waited in the common room first, preparing for a big showcase, but he had bounded down the stairs and waved at her then left to eat breakfast. Lily’s heart had clenched in her chest, but she swiftly followed and sat down near Alice and Marlene, eyes locked on unruly black hair and pretty brown eyes. Then he had stood up and ruffled his hair, which Lily knew as him being nervous. But instead of turning to her with that bright grin, he walked to the Ravenclaw table and asked out Sarah Drow, the Head Girl. Drow had nodded, accepting his offer with a shy smile.

Lily had sat there, appetite completely gone and the muffin she started eating had felt like lead in her mouth. She swallowed thickly then played with the sleeves of her robes as James sauntered back to the others with a perky bounce to his step. Tears had pricked her eyes, but she breathed out a shaky breath and shoved her feelings down her chest. Lily had no business feeling so off center about this. Lily had viciously wished he stayed his usual cocky self, so she wouldn’t have begun to like him, but she beat herself up for it after.

She was glad to go home for the holidays that year, glad to forget her worries and focus on Petunia’s frank disgust of her magic (or as she aptly called it, her “freakishness”) and her parents’ smothering.

James and Drow, much to her consternation, had stayed together for five more heartbreaking months before splitting up around May. She was secretly joyed, but that only made her feel guiltier knowing she was infatuated with her friend. She had wanted to ask him out after they had broken up, but she waited too long, wanting to give him space. And before she knew it, final exams neared and her mind was sufficiently occupied. Lily never had the chance to ask him out again since school ended.

Over summer, Luly psyched herself up to bottle up her Gryffindor courage to ask him out when the new term started up again. Her dad knocked the window of the car outside, pushing thoughts of that out of her mind and she grinned. She quickly kissed her parents’ cheeks and rushed out and through the barrier with her bags. The Hogwarts Express entered her field of vision and she fiddled with the Head Girl badge on clothes, making sure it was straight and not just a figment of her imagination. She placed her trunk in one of the compartments and went out to search for that unruly mop of hair that was usually accompanied by a body named James Potter.  

Lily opened one of the doors to find Sirius and Remus, blushing immediately when she saw what they were doing. She rambled, covering her eyes from the miles of naked skin in front of her, “Oh, God, I’m so sorry. Please put some clothes on, there’s children here.”

Well the female population would be happy to know that both non-bachelors were rather well-endowed (though they would probably mourn the lost of their single status). Sirius chuckled and said, “Anything for you, Lily darling.”

Remus snorted and told her, “You can open your eyes now. It's safe.”

Lily moved her hands from her face at a slow pace, her cheeks still coloured a light pink. But as soon as she gained her vision back, she caught sight of the newly formed, large scar on Remus’ abdomen as he gingerly put his shirt back on. She gasped then her hands fluttered over wound, not wanting to aggravate it, but wanted to check if he was still well. She exclaimed, “Remus? What happened? Are you okay?”

Remus smiled softly at her worrying, his pale green eyes alight with a warm glow. Sirius said, “Simmer down, Lily darling, he’s fine. Just a bit of a scratch, is all.”

“It wasn’t as bad this time,” added Remus, nodding along with Sirius. Lily pursed her lips. That didn’t make her feel any better, but she let it slide. He continued, “What were you looking for anyway?”

Lily’s eyes widened. Her original plan had totally left her mind when she saw them. She said, “I was looking for James. Have you seen him?”

Sirius saw her jittery nervousness and raised an eyebrow. He teased, “Did you finally realise that he’s the only one for you?”

Lily didn’t even comment on the tone, only deigning to respond with a simple, “Yes.”

If she was going to (hopefully) start dating James this year, she shouldn’t be embarrassed about it. And she wasn’t, not really anyway. Maybe if James had asked her a few years ago she would’ve blown up on him, but now the thought of James and her together made her heart warm, her lips automatically quirking up into grin.

Sirius laughed, hand slapping on his knees because he really was quite the drama queen. “Oh, Merlin’s beard, you’re actually serious, aren’t you?” Lily opened her mouth to cheekily reply, but he raised his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose in mock annoyance. “Don’t even think about saying it, Lily darling. It’s only funny when I do it.” She closed her mouth with an audible click and winked at him.

Remus interrupted, finishing his tie with a quick movement, “He was by the prefects compartment the last time I checked.”

Lily sighed and hugged the boy tightly. “Thanks, Remus, you’re the best.” She went on the tips of her toes and kissed his cheek before doing the same to Sirius, then rushed out the door in a hurry.

As she tumbled out, she heard Sirius’ yell of, “That’s my man you’re putting your lips on!” and the sound of an exasperated, “She did the same to you, Padfoot!” Lily laughed as she walked away and strode towards her destination. Her eyes scanned the train until she him wave at her from the end of the train. She grinned and ran up to him, jumping into his arms and wrapping her legs around his waist.

Lily whispered, breathless with joy, “Hi, James.”

His hazel eyes crinkled with the force of his smile. “All right, Evans?”

Her legs were still wrapped around him and she distantly noted that he didn’t look at all strained with the added weight. Huh, that was good to know.  Lily looked down at him, cheeks dimpling, marvelling at this new height. “Perfect.”

“That was quite a greeting there,” James said, placing her down on solid ground, “Not that I mind it.”

The glint of the gold badge distracted her from replying back. _HB_ was emblazoned on it, glimmering prettily in the morning sunlight that was peeking through the windows, just as her badge was. She said, shocked, “You’re Head Boy?”

“You think you’re surprised?” James chuckled. “I thought Dumbledore had finally gone off his rockers.”

The beatific smile on his face clearly did something to her since her insides felt like mush. She said, linking her arm in his and walked them into the empty compartment. “You deserve it, James. You’re a great leader, you know.”

“Thanks, Lily,” said James and held onto her hands when she disentangled herself from him. Lily stared at his brown hands covering her pale ones and a wave of anxiety washed over her. Her courage that she had saved up was dwindling under his eyes and his hands. She licked her lips and steeled herself for any reaction, rejection or otherwise.

She asked, twining her finger with his, “Go out with me, James.”

James’ mouth sort of fell open, his glasses slipping down his nose along with it. She almost giggled, but the lack of response had stripped any breath from her. Lily waited for a few long moments and went to leave, but his hand pulled her back. He let her go and she could’ve even mourn the loss because his hands had cupped her face softly. He asked, a little desperate, “Please tell me you’re not joking. Lily, I don’t think I could handle that.”

The furrow in her eyebrows had disappeared at his words and the tension in her shoulders lessened. Lily leaned into his hands and leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to full, soft lips, relishing in the rush of warmth and comfort it gave her. She had never been this close to James and she could see the gold flecks in his eyes. “Not at all.”

“Thank, Merlin,” breathed James, before he leaned in and kissed her with more zeal. His arms had moved until they were on her hips and her arms had locked around his neck. His glasses smushed against her face and they had both laughed into each other’s mouths when James had stumbled over his shoes as he tried to move them.

When they finally pulled away from each other, whether it had been minutes or an hour she didn’t know or care, James grinned. There was a glazed look in his eyes and she knew if she saw herself, she would look exactly the same as he did. He said, “Took you long enough, Lily. I’ve been waiting for years.”

She shrugged, coy. “If you asked me out last year, I would’ve said yes.”

James shut his eyes and leaned his head against her shoulder. “I’m such an idiot. I didn’t want to bother you and you didn’t exactly _say_ anything. Merlin, and I thought I would get over you if I dated someone else, but we both know that didn’t work out that well.”

“You’d think wearing your Quidditch sweater all the time and sitting in your lap would clue you in,” Lily said, recounting some of the more obvious attempts to get him to notice her.

“Hey, you sit on Sirius’ lap all the time!” James pouted.

Lily rolled her eyes. “To _annoy_ him. It’s like my bottom offends him and it’s funny when he makes a fool of himself as he tries to apologise to Remus for it. I sit in your lap because you’re my favourite person and I _like_ you.”

“I had a breakdown over that, Lily. Sirius just gave me this look and walked out of the room when I talked about it,” James whinged, sitting down. And just to prove a point (also just because he was her favourite person), Lily sat down on his lap and loved that his arms moved to accommodate her without a second of thought.

Lily kissed the tip of his nose. Then his cheeks. And his forehead. Then finally his lips. Affection poured out of her like London rain. “I like you, James Potter.”

“And I like you too, Lily Evans,” said James, a little softer.

Then, with bright eyes and light hearts, they kissed again and again and again until their lips were red and they were tragically late to their own prefects meeting.

(They didn’t mind at all.)

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed !!!! send me prompts on my [tumblr](http://bisexualjily.tumblr.com/ask) if you want !!


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